Or, phone rules for fellow people who lack self-control and balance.
My post-it note via How to Break Up with Your Phone
I have struggled with a love-hate relationship with my phone for soooo long. I love that I can text my friends and family and keep in touch! I hate how I can lose hours of time staring at a little screen and come away feeling icky and annoyed with myself.
I love how I can listen to podcasts and audiobooks! I hate how I feel pulled away from the present moment by the ability to be entertained 24/7. I used to get frustrated at my phone because my calls would get cut unexpectedly while I was talking so I would use my phone even more to try and figure out why it was happening.
I don’t want to jinx anything, but I think I finally, finally have it figured out. My screentime is down 40% and I feel less sucked in by my phone.
Here is what has worked for me.
My phone guidelines:
Set my downtime from 7 pm till 9 am, so I start and end my day without losing time on my phone. (Screen time on iPhone)
Turned off ALL notifications except text and phone calls. Yes, even email! Also turned off all my badges so the numbers don’t make me feel behind.
Got an app that sounds a gong every hour to remind me to be present.
Deleted Instagram. It was my last social media app – now I have to access it through my browser on my phone which is more annoying so I do it less. The big downside is I can’t message people on IG anymore and I do really miss that.
Turn off my phone and don’t use my computer for 3 hours every morning. After I put Eleanor down for her morning nap, I turn off my phone and don’t touch it till 3 hours have gone by. It’s amazing what that does for our mornings. (I put my phone on airplane mode if we need it for a book or plug it in in another room with the ringer on if I’m expecting a call)
Set up limits in screen time (iPhone setting) – 0 minutes for social media and 2 hours for other apps. Useful apps like Google maps, podcasts, texts, my library app, and phone are always allowed. The 0 minutes means I have to consciously choose to say yes every time I want to check Facebook or Instagram. And after 15 minutes, it’ll make me approve again.
No screens around Eleanor. My time with her as a baby is fleeting. She’s going to be 1 in just 6 weeks! I want to make myself be present and slow down when she’s around.
Tools that have helped:
The book How to Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price
screen time settings on iPhone (moment is also great)
bluetooth headphones – so I can listen to an audiobook or podcast (two ways my phone totally adds value to my life!) without needing my phone next to me
Smart speaker (we have a google home mini) – so I can ask about the weather, news, store hours, traffic, whatever – withOUT ending up in a phone vortex for 45 minutes .
I’m not the only one, right?
I have no idea if this will help anyone else out, but I have struggled with wanting to be less connected to my phone for years. If it’s not something you personally struggle with, you might be rolling your eyes, “Geez, Ash, just put down the phone! It’s not that hard!”
Apparently it is that hard. For me, anyway. Did you see all those rules!?
I’m sure I’ll need resets going forward (and I have a completely SCREEN FREE 24 hours coming up this weekend. No TV! No tablets! No phones! What WILL we do? TBD), but for the first time in forever – I feel hopeful that this tiny little screen isn’t what I’m paying the most attention to in my life. And that feels good.
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